SEX, SHAME & THE MYTH OF PURITY

Sex, Shame & the Myth of Purity

Sex, Shame & the Myth of Purity

Blog Article

We’re told that sex is natural.
Yet from an early age, we’re warned to guard it, fear it, delay it, or deny it.

Especially if we’re girls.

We’re handed words like chaste, clean, pure—
As if our value could be measured by what has or hasn’t happened between our legs.
And just like that, sex becomes less about connection…
And more about control.

But let’s be honest:

Purity is not a virtue. It’s a narrative.
One designed to shrink, silence, and shame—especially women.

????️ What Even Is Purity, and Who Decided?

Purity culture isn’t just about religion.
It’s a set of cultural rules that say:

  • Your body is dangerous.

  • Your desire is suspect.

  • Your worth is tied to restraint.

It’s in sex ed classes that focus only on abstinence.
It’s in the way we label girls who say “yes” and reward those who say “no.”
It’s in the language of “used,” “ruined,” or “damaged goods.”
It’s in every wedding where “white” means clean—and sexless.

And yet... purity isn’t real.
You cannot lose your worth by exploring your body.
You cannot be “dirty” for wanting or choosing pleasure.

Because purity was never about you.
It was about who got to own your story.

???? Shame Is the Tool. Control Is the Goal.

Sexual shame doesn’t stop desire.
It just buries it deep enough to rot.

It leaves people disconnected from their bodies.
Afraid to ask questions.
Unsure how to say no.
Ashamed when they say yes.

And it creates a world where:

  • Women are blamed for their own assault.

  • Virginity is fetishized while consent is ignored.

  • Men are told they “can’t help it,” and women are told to be responsible for both.

This isn’t morality.
It’s manipulation.

???? When Purity Becomes a Cage

If you grew up believing sex makes you less,
You might carry guilt long after the act.
You might feel broken for wanting.
You might struggle to receive pleasure without panic or numbness.
You might confuse suffering with worth.

These are not flaws in you.
These are the bruises left by a purity myth that never loved you back.

???? You Were Never “Impure.” You Were Just Lied To.

Sex isn’t holy or dirty.
It’s human.

Your worth doesn’t decrease with desire.
It doesn’t disappear when you say yes.
It doesn’t dissolve after your first time—or your fiftieth.

What matters isn’t your so-called purity.
What matters is your truth:

  • Did you feel safe?

  • Did you feel free?

  • Did you have agency?

  • Did it come from love—whether for them, or for yourself?

That’s real morality. That’s what makes sex sacred.

❤️ Final Thought: You Don’t Have to Be Pure—You Just Have to Be Whole

The myth of purity has done enough damage.
It’s time to rewrite the story.

You don’t owe anyone a clean slate.
You owe yourself compassion, freedom, and the right to reclaim your body on your terms.

Because sex isn’t a stain.
And shame was never yours to carry.

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